QUEEN OVER JACK

It usually matters that you have it. But any real poker player would know, it's just as good to have none when they think you do and even better to have some when they think you don't. And that, my friends, is poker truth.

A full house. The win was in the bag and I knew it. The flop laid flat on the table - jack and two ten's. I quickly checked weasling in the pair jacks I was dealt and hoped for higher betting. We turned an Ace. And the bets piled up like clockwork. Four of them raised bringing the pot over 50 thousand.

"You can't all have Aces, you know. There are only four."

I grinned. I was sure atleast one of them was bluffing. It didn't matter if they made pair Aces or were betting behind three tens anyway. They were going to get owned either way. I checked tapping on the table.

The river gave up a queen. This was definitely going to get interesting with some possible hits on a straight.

"All in."

After all the betting was done, the pot grew just under 100 thousand with 6 players going all in with me.

"Nice hand sweetie."

"Thanks. =)"

It felt great! So what if it was video poker? The exhiliration was real, at least for me. It didn't cost a cent. I was playing with people all over the world and I was winning. That along with one more thing.

It was nine years ago when she left without a word back in college. One of my closest friends had left premed biology to pursue nursing.

"What? And why the hell there?"

"She said it wasn't her choice to make."

"Oh yes it is! And aren't there enough nurses already?"

I was being petty, selfish - a kid. But I'd miss her like a toddler misses his comfort blanket in a night out of town. It was unfair.

It'd been too long but technology does have an amazing way of helping us find people we've lost. I was glad even if technology took 9 years to do it.

"Ouch. Honey, you don't go all in if the odds are pretty bad."

"Hahaha. As you said, it's not real money. hahahaha!"

"LOL. Yeah. You're right. hahaha!"

Yup, poker really is addicting. And you end up playing all night and even up until the sun's shining well after day break. I haven't had this much fun with someone I don't see or touch or hear. I knew it was her.

I was here and she was too far. I tried twice and would even go for a third. I went all the way there hoping it would be enough to see her again. It was apparently not. And among the countless times she happened to be "just passing by", or "just in the area", or "simply accompanying some relatives shopping" at the mall 15 minutes from where I live, I really never knew why she didn't call and we never met. While technology was kind, actuality was cold and heartless. It was unimaginably frustrating. And sometimes, it gets so bad that it's actually painful.

"Hey babe."

Buy in at 20 thousand.

"Hey! you're here!"

"Yes I am."

"Sorry I haven't been online since this Saturday. The connection's been down since I left and said I'd be back."

Dealt a queen and a jack.

"So, you missed me?"

All in.

"Yes I did!!!"

Flopped two, six, jack.

"Good. Cause I missed you too. =)"

Turned an ace.

"You only have to pay me 500 bucks and that's already with dinner and a movie."

"Hahaha! Sounds like a good package!"

"It is. I'll even let you cut in from all the other girls in line."

"Hahaha. You dork."

Rivered a queen. Queens over jacks with an ace kicker. 85 thousand pot.

"Oh my god! Very nice hand sweetie!"

"Hahaha. Thanks. About the package, you're thinking of taking it?"

"We'll have to schedule that."

I hit 1.7 million in total winnings with that hand.

Video poker's great.

It's not real. It's just a game. I know.

I'm never going to be sure if it plays out like this if I actually get to do it. But I'm hoping and praying that someday it will.